ginger steps.

everyone's blogging about their common tests, or mid years as called in other schools, so i shall talk about mine.

maths: A
chem: B
bio: F
econ: S
h1 physics: A

so you see, my results are basically at the two extreme ends, which i guess is both good and bad la. i seriously don't know if it's actually a right choice made to take h2 bio, but since i've already studied it for half a year and i can't think of what else i can study in university besides medicine, i shall hang on. heh.

i think henry's really pissed with me la. i wasn't concentrating on training at all yesterday. got distracted by my own stuff. was so affected by it i absorbed nothing of what henry taught and i totally had no idea of how i fenced. no strategy, no skill, no nothing. he just asked me what you've been learning for the past one and half hours, ouch. i'm really sorry.

life moves on. the faster i get over it, the better it is. promo's coming in about 100 days, and i cannot let my trainings just go down the drain. if i'm gonna flunk my promos or continue fencing with less than half of my mind there, i'm not gonna forgive myself either, or i should say, the more i won't forgive myself.

it's just one setback in life and if i don't rebound back soon, i'll be the one suffering and not anyone else. next time in life i'm still gonna meet much much more. what if i lose my job when i grow up? what if i lose yet another loved one in the family? what if i break up with my first boyfriend?

and i compare myself with others around me, i'm far more fortunate. there're prc scholar friends who miss their parents so much they cry to sleep. there's daddy who just lost his dad and no one is as filial a son as him. there're people who got deficiencies since birth and have to live the rest of their life like that. there're people who are fighting every day to make a living. i'm living in a safe place with no war or natural disasters, with people around me loving me, i'm not rich but i'm leading a comfortable and decent life and i didn't really come across any major crisis my whole life, i am a very very lucky girl indeed and what more should i ask for?

so ya, like what daddy said, my life is in my own hands. no one can replace me.

hoho enough of all those philosophical stuff.

this morning me and wanqing were tour guides for 15 minutes for three american women who wanted to visit our school. we brought them from bishan mrt station to the school. and one of them gave each of us a las vegas key chain as souvenir and took photos of us in front the school's name. damn cool. after we left them me and wanqing looked at each other and went 'oh my god...' lol (:

went home with sarah, jonathan and weiquan today, whahaha they people can really crap la, damn funny. went sarah's house with jonathan after that cos he wanted to get something from her. stupid jonathan know, big time bully, he so enjoys bullying me la. and can tell he told stacey a lot about me, just look at stacey's face after i told her my name man, lol. but ya ya both him and weiquan are very nice guys, sarah absolutely agrees.

hm i wanna go library to study with shiyi tomorrow. stupid gal, promised me last year to come rj with me. stupid stupid shiyi >< but honestly i guess that makes us treasure our times together even more haha. and yea i really miss all my dunman high people. i-m-i-s-s-y-o-u (:

wah really long post haha. if you manage to read till here, i really thank you hee.