hiii. found out that psle results were released today. shuilin did very well and is probably going to dunman high, i'm really happy for my little friend. (: then i realised that, or rather, wanqing pointed out that, it has been exactly a decade since we received our psle results. i can still remember what happened on that day. probably the first and last time that i've ever received so much attention from an entire school. somehow over the years, i just start to ask less and less of myself. cannot get first in school? that's normal. cannot top the class? it's ok. cannot get A? doesn't matter. can pass can already. somehow that's kind of sad. i know that the stuff that i'm learning is getting harder and the people that i'm meeting are getting smarter, but that should be the exact motivation to push myself to greater heights, instead of giving myself an excuse to lag behind.
speaking of which, this couple of weeks' school work has been extremely hard. indescribably tough. attempted three tutorials last night, and for all of them i could only force myself to scribble some pathetic answers on my papers that stared blankly at me for hours. then i got really frustrated, so i decided to call back to grandparents' place at beijing time 7.30am. mum was having breakfast with grandparents, but dad went back to our own city to settle some stuff. grumbled to mum over the phone, and listened to her telling me stuff like too bad, i also can't help you, solve it yourself la. and then i felt so much better. (((: mum has her own ways of making me feel better. shit i'm getting homesick again. shiyi's right. all the emotions that i'm experiencing here do seem to intensify by 10 times just because i'm far away from home and everyone.
good thing's that matthew and mumu are coming to coventry tomorrow night to spend the weekend with me. (: or more like, they're leeching onto me for accommodation and i'll be cooking their meals, lol. and since yiyi'll be at london over the weekend i get to sleep in her room ^^ they are visiting stratford-upon-avon on saturday cos those two boys took literature and theatre studies in their earlier years. not that i'm not interested but i really need to stay at home to do my stuff. promised them to visit kenilworth castle together on sunday though. thanks to them and our fortnightly trips, there has always been something for me to look forward to throughout this term. (:
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