ginger steps.

read this on the blog of my cousin, who is studying at canada now:

一个人久了，除了寂寞点还是蛮开心的.一个人久了，会慢慢变得成熟起来.一个人久了，会比以前更爱父母.一个人久了，对所有的节日大多没什么期待.一个人久了，听到看到别人一对对的很甜蜜，心里多少还是会有些介意.一个人久了，会越来越理性，越来越现实.

how come he's feeling the exact same things as i am, he's only 18 years old.

was talking to a friend yesterday, and i told him that life here for me has been very simple, maybe because i have very few friends here, so life only revolves around those people. i don't have to worry about handling complicated relationships, don't have to live up to certain expectations, and don't have to try so hard to do things and say things just to make others happy. though sometimes, i really am drowning in loneliness.

found out from facebook that it's dongzhi today, so decided to call home again though i've already skyped dad and mum in the morning. they had jiaozi for lunch. dad asked me to buy some frozen jiaozi from the supermarket too, but i told him i'm too lazy to get out in the cold. what he doesn't know is that i can't bear to eat it and celebrate on my own.