ginger steps.

urgh i'm so screwed, academically.

i haven't been studying properly ever since commons ended, completely submerged in the complacency with my 2 As and 1 B and of course totally forgetting the fact that i had a U and an S. and puiyee said that pauline topped the vj cohort with 4 freaking As for all her 4 H2 subjects. like how good is that la. and i actually dare to think that coming to rj promises me a bright colourful future. dream on la zhangfan.

and i never do my tutorials properly. i just bring empty pieces of paper to chem and econ lessons to copy the answers on the board. or on the screen, whatever. and the excuse i give? i'm busy with training cos my competition's coming in 2 weeks' time. utter bullshit. other fencers were thinking of quitting pesta sukan to concentrate on promos and i'm the other way round. like what's wrong with me la??!! urgh.

mr vadi confiscated my calculator yesterday when i told him i didn't do my tutorial. don't ask me why the calculator, he just randomly grabbed it out of my pencil case to use it for hostage purpose heh. and he asked for five bucks for it. i was telling him that's the first time i didn't do econ tutorial and blah blah and i even offered him honey stars for my calculator back but of course all to no avail. i thought it was funny but after that i realised it's no joking matter. i rather spend 5 bucks now and buy a lesson before it's too late. so i went to him and apologised and promised i'll never don't do tutorial again and paid my 5 bucks and got my calculator back. i could have been 5 bucks richer now but well, at least i'll do my tutorial from now on (: and that calculator of mine can't be replaced by my gc or whatever else. i've been using it since sec1, it went through a lot with me and it has 3 stars on it drawn by chenlu in sec3, though they no longer look like stars now due to worn out angles lol.

and the class is having very tense relationships with many, or should i say almost all, teachers this term. teachers are all pissed with us for our sucky attitudes towards studies. according to elysa it's cos in terms 1 and 2 all classes slacked, so we seemed normal. but now the other classes start to get serious about work and under comparison, we are intolerable. yes i like 3s a lot a lot but i really hope we can all work hard and play hard together. maybe it's cos for all my 4 years in dhs i've been in classes that were academically strong. or maybe 3s is just a group of closet muggers and everyone mugs at home and plays in school. hoho nevertheless, 3s is a nice class to be in haha.

and i missed the australian maths competition. it's not about the money that i'm upset. it's about the fact that i missed the chance of slotting a certificate into my portfolio. yes i know i sound so realistic and ambitious and whatever you want to call it, but i really start to worry. for primary school, my portfolio was that thick. for secondary school, my portfolio was that thick. and 1/4 of jc life's gone and i still have nothing to put into a portfolio. NOTHING. and now i have a chance to put in something, even if it means it's a cert of credit or participation, and i just missed it like this. if i go on like this, i can forget about applying for whatever scholarship, or even getting into a decent university.

and i sleep like a pig these days. i slept from 9 to 5+ the next morning on thursday and from 8+ to 7+ this morning. oink oink.

promo's 58 days away and i barely feel anything. someone please come and give me a slap and bring me back to reality. i'm so asking for trouble ):